My dear Western friends,
I am apologizing today because I fooled you. I did not fool you once. Nor twice. But hundreds of times, when I was defending the Arab world, the Muslim world or the Middle East (same shit).
I do not feel anger. I do not feel disappointment. I do not feel frustration.
I am actually filled with ire. I am actually filled with despair. I am actually filled with hopelessness.
The point of writing a blog is to explain one's perspective so here is my truth.
The Middle East is the most backward place you can find on the face of earth. I spare you the details of the failure of the economy (despite enormous resources) or the centralization of politics and will focus mainly on the retarded culture of the majority. (Fortunately, there is a mino-mino-minority of educated people who are aware of this state of decadence, decay and extreme conservatism but are too busy benefiting from the sharp socio-economic gap and enjoying the status quo to open their mouth to bring some change.)
Imagine what it is to be an open-minded and unveiled woman walking in the streets of Middle Eastern countries, facing daily the persistant and judgmental look of veiled ninjas who believe that they hold the absolute truth, being verbally harassed by men who are driving, cab drivers who are staring at the mirror of the car, or neighboors when you are just, simply hanging your laundry on your terrace. What are the consequences of being simply a free woman?
Well, today, I was told that I was kicked out of my apartment because my roommate and I are foreigners and, because we have troubles with the super-super-super conservative superintendant of the building, we are bringing a bad reputation.
This mentality, my friends, will never taste what freedom and democracy are. Not in ten years. Not even in billions of years. Actually, global warming and the end of the world are most likely to happen before.
Forget when I was saying that the rise of conservatism in the Arab world is a defense against US foreign policy and the creation of the state of Israel. (Well, to be true, it certainly has to do with the Sykes–Picot Agreement (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sykes%E2%80%93Picot_Agreement)
Forget when I was claiming that cultural diversity needs to be respected and arguing that Middle Eastern people have their own conception of freedom.
Conservatism and backwardness are in these people's blood. It runs
through their veins. You were told that cancer and HIV are the worst diseases you can get? Here is another misinformation. Actually, conservatism is way worse than cancer and HIV both combined in the same body. It spreads quickly, reaches the brain and annihilates any ability to think and criticize.
Finally, if you are wondering how one can deeply love and truly despise its own culture at the same time, please read the above letter of despair. After all, "Dissent is the highest form of patriotism," as Thomas Jefersson put it.
Kam. July 21, 2010. Sitting at her desk. Torn between jumping out of the window or taking that challenge.
Darling. Take a deep breath. Assholes (or conservative peeps) are everywhere. In France and southern Europe as well, if you show your legs, men will stare at you, and be annoying. Not in a conservative way, just in a heavy flirtatious one, which is as much annoying in the end.
ReplyDeleteDon't let others do your agenda, if the super doesn't want you anymore, GOOD coz you don't want to see his face either. But no need to be torn and jump out of the window!
Give Middle-East a chance, re-read Amin Maalouf books and remember how the Arabic world is an amazing civilization. Just take the best out of this experience, I'm sure you'll meet tons of great (and progressive!) people!
Man thats a real asshole move they made right there....I hope you find yourself in a better situation soon enough
ReplyDeleteI can sympathize with your difficulties, actually I can relate in certain ways. My family was among the first black families to move to the suburbs in my hometown and there were white people in the area who did not want us to be there. At the time my parents worked most of the week so they only dealt with it when they were home on weekends but I had to deal with it everyday. I would be coming home from school and Afrikaans kids (descendants of the Dutch) would bully me and bombard me with racial slurs...we moved there when I was 4 years old and things didn't change until years later when I was about 8 or 9 when those families moved out of the neighborhood. Despite this, my closest friend at the time was an Afrikaans kid and growing up I didn't have any hatred towards Afrikaners because I realized that people aren't all the same.
The Arab world is an amazing place filled with interesting people and cultures. I think that a revist of Amin Maalouf's book, Leo Africanus, (a Moroccan writer whom you should be familiar with) states at the end of the book that we can distance ourselves from people's beliefs. Do remember that we was a muslim, converted to catholocism and then back to Islam when he moved back to Morocco to live out his last days there. You must remember that he even mentions that people requested to be buried with a Torah, a Qoran and a bible, this following the forced expulsions of Jews and Muslims from Spain with the Spanish inquisition. Do not give up, you must seek the truth and and never let go of it.
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